Church as a Family

Pastor Duane shares quotes & resources from his manuscript


The Lord looks down from heaven.  He sees all the children of man. Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love.

May the Father grant you to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in your inner being so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

God by definition is a family God within His very being.

Being made by and for family is at the core of who we are as human beings.

“The family is the nucleus of civilization and the basic social unit of society. Research clearly shows that the institution of the family is the first form of community and government and is the first, best and original Department of Health, Education and Welfare. For a civilization to succeed, the family must succeed.” - William Bennet in “Stronger Families, Stronger Societies” (New York Times)

“(Be) giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.  - Ephesians 5:20-32

“In humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”  - Philippians 2:3-4

“Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman..since they are heirs with you of the grace of life.” - 1 Peter 3:7 

The three words for “LOVE” in the Bible

Philia - Friendship love.

Eros - Erotic, sexual, romantic love.

Agape - Sacrificial love. 

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” - Ephesians 6:1-4

“We have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. They disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” - Hebrews 12:9-11

Church is meant to be a family where we live with and love one another as a true family who really cares for one another and lays our lives down for each other.

“We are structured for relationships and by relationships. Our souls are relational at their core. We are neurologically structured with an attachment system in our brains and bodies that compels us to connect with others.

Learning to relate starts at least as early as the day we are born. Our way of entering into and maintaining all our relationships is one of the earliest psychological structures formed in us. Our individual relational reality was born out of the connection with our parents. The relationships in our family of origin shaped and molded our lives. As we grew into adulthood, our relationships influenced the state of our souls for good or for ill. Thus, we cannot reach our potential without healthy relationships. Life-giving relationships are the source and the fruit of life.

We are relational beings because we are created in the image of a relational God. By definition the Christian God exists in relationship as Father, Son and Spirit. While existing as three distinct persons, they share one divine essence that is described as love (1 John 4:8). We are created with this relational likeness and we long for relational connection because God exists in a relationship of love.” - Rich Plass & Jim Coefield in “Relational Soul"